After a haitus for our son’s marriage, we’re back in the saddle! Thanks for your patience. 

Today is a blog post from Kari. The same topic from the male perspective will be posted later this week.

Think about when you first started dating your spouse. For some of us, we may have to think waaaay back. What did you do that was special for your man that only a girlfriend would do? What did he do for you that made you fall in love with him?

Now ask yourself, do you still do any of those things for your man? Does he still do those little things for you that made you know he was the one?

One of the main reasons people fall “out of love” with their spouse is because they stopped being the person that they fell in love with in the first place. Many people think that once you are married, the “dating” stops. I’m not talking about “going” on dates, although that is one thing you can do.

Jeremy and I went through a time where I stopped being his girlfriend and he stopped being my boyfriend. This was probably the most unfulfilling time in our marriage. We fought a lot and I actually asked him to go to counseling at one time. In the process of discussing this, we started to communicate and realized we were not doing the things for each other that a couple who are dating, do. We decided to change things going forward and have not looked back.

Here is a list of five things I do to show Jeremy how special he is to me. Some of these are things I did when we were dating, and some are new things I’ve learned along the way. You have to decide what will work for you. Better yet, talk to your husband and ask him what he remembers you doing when you were dating that made him fall in love with you in the first place. You might be surprised at what he says.

I tell him that I love him and I’m so proud of him.

I was always pretty good about telling Jeremy that I love him but was terrible about telling him that I was proud of him. Girls, your man needs to know that you are proud of him and that you are glad you married him. I always thought it but was terrible about saying it. Then Jeremy and I talked about it and I found out how important it was to him. This is what makes it worth going out into the work world and killing himself for you and the kids. Trust me, most men do not go out into the corporate world because they like it. They go out there and fight the good fight because they LOVE you.

Just a quick, “Thinking about you,” goes a LONG way.

I text him during the day to say that I’m thinking about him.

Most couples spend eight or more hours a day away from each other at work. If you’re like me, you might have a two-hour commute. Then add in the time we spend getting ready in the morning, putting the kids to bed, cooking dinner, any other after-school extracurricular activities, doing the dishes, and then it’s time for bed. Add it all up, and it’s a wonder if we have time to sleep. Marriage takes work. Jeremy used to spend hours talking on the phone at night until we HAD to go to bed if we were going to get up for work the next morning. This is one of the few times where I am so happy to have cell phone technology. Some days it just makes the world a different place when you receive a text from your spouse saying that they are thinking of you and love you.

I fix his dinner plate and bring him coffee in the morning if I’m up before he is.

This is one that I didn’t do when we were dating, but I’ve picked up over the years. It’s my chance to “serve” my husband. Not because I’m beneath him, but because he’s worth it, and I like taking care of him.

I touch him.

When you’re first dating, you can’t keep your hands off of each other. I’m not talking about sex. I mean touching so you can be close to the one you love. I hold his hand, I come up behind him and give him a hug, I put my hand on his leg in the car. Human beings need to be touched. It’s important that the person who provides that for your husband is YOU.

You don’t have to be a beauty queen to put your best foot forward.

Put forth an effort.

I am far from a supermodel and I definitely have my “dumpy” days, but I try to put forth an effort to look my best for my man. If I know I’m going to be spending the day with Jeremy, I will wear makeup and try to wear decent clothes. I’m not talking about heels and a gown, but I don’t go around in sweats and PJs. I want Jeremy to be proud to be seen with me. This is not always easy, especially if you have little ones at home. But it’s worth the effort. Don’t save the best of you for your co-worker’s at the office, and leave your husband with the tired leftovers.

Ladies, what things do you do for your husband that I didn’t mention? Any here you disagree with? Share your stories in the comments below.